


Motivation Issues

by katrinawritesthings



Category: SHINee
Genre: Brotp, M/M, taemplants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-20 18:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10668051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katrinawritesthings/pseuds/katrinawritesthings
Summary: the one where taem has depression nd kibum drives him to his new therapist nd is a general good friend uwu“Want me to go in there with you for, I don’t know, moral support?” Kibum asks.tumblr





	Motivation Issues

“You ate breakfast, right?”

“Mmhmm. Cereal. And an orange.” Taemin nods at Kibum’s quick glance up as he rummages through his bag for his keys. “Picked it right off of Kit and everything.” He gestures a tired hand at the back door of his house, where said orange tree is chilling in the corner of the yard. Kibum hums, satisfied with his answer, and tugs his keys out of his bag at last with a triumphant laugh.

“And you showered and every--yeah, yeah you did. I fucking--know you did.” He rolls his eyes with an exasperated sigh and Taemin chuckles softly. He knows that Kibum knows that he showered last night. He didn’t reply to to the obnoxious soapy nipples and overly suggestive wink snap Taemin sent him, but he did see it, and he can’t act like he didn’t. Taemin is such a great friend. His snapchats alone are a blessing. Kibum shakes his head instead of continuing on that topic and grabs Taemin’s wrist. “Come on, frumpy,” he says. “Therapy time.” He tugs Taemin out of his front door and to his compact, fancy little prius. They pass Taemin’s badly painted VW Beetle on the way and he lightly smacks Kibum on the arm.

“Punch buggy purple,” he mumbles.

“It doesn’t count when it’s your own fucking car,” Kibum sighs, leaving Taemin at the passenger door and circling around. Taemin waits for him to unlock it, then clambers inside. Once Kibum gets settled in his seat as well, he shrugs and leans against the window.

“You say that every time but I still do it,” he hums.

“That’s because you’re a piece of shit,” Kibum grumbles. Taemin winks and throws him a finger pistol. Then he fumbles for Kibum’s iPod, scrolling through his songs for something to listen to on the way to the hospital. He knows that Kibum doesn’t mind. He likes Taemin’s piece of shit car almost as much as Taemin does. “It’s the second building, right?” Kibum asks, turning them onto the road.

“Yeah,” Taemin nods. “The one with the fountain in front.” The mental health and pharmacy building. He would be driving there himself for his first therapy session, but he had one of those, “had to struggle to roll himself out of bed” kind of mornings so he called Kibum and asked for a ride instead. He can’t not go if Kibum is there to make him go. It’s cheap, but it’s what works and Kibum is happy to oblige anyway. At least he’ll have something actually related to his depression to talk about with his new therapist today. They drive in silence, mostly because Kibum doesn’t like to be disturbed while he’s driving and partly because Taemin doesn’t really feel like talking much. The hospital isn’t that far away from Taemin’s house, so they get there in no time, Kibum rolling to a stop at the side of the building.

“Want me to go in there with you for, I don’t know, moral support?” he asks. Taemin grins and shakes his head, unbuckling himself patting his pockets to make sure he still has his stuff.

“No, I’ve done all of this before,” he says. “I had a therapist before a few years ago when I was still a minor. It can’t be that different.” Hopefully the adult therapy rooms will have comfy chairs and cool stim toys to play with as well, but he’s not really holding his breath. “Um,” he says before he gets out of the car and forgets. “It’s gonna be longer than the hour, probably, because I’ll have to fill out paperwork and shit.”

“Okay,” Kibum shrugs. “I was gonna go run some errands anyway, if you didn’t want me to come. Text me?”

“You got it.” Taemin takes a second to take Kibum’s hand in his and squeeze it gratefully. He’s lucky to have a friend as good as him. He feels a little guilty for making him come do this today, but that guilt is kind of why he’s doing this in the first place, so. He wiggles clumsily out of the car, waving a goodbye at Kibum before turning to face the entrance with a deep breath. He’ll be fine. Some paperwork, some waiting around, some talking to a dude for an hour… it’s almost nice, how familiar this feels already.

Jonghyun--his new therapist’s name, as he finds out half an hour later--is a pretty cool dude. Really fucking hot, with his toned arms and dark skin and crooked smile, but not too distractingly so. His voice is soothing and it’s easy for Taemin to relax as he squishes himself into the corner of the cushy recliner in the corner of the office and absentmindedly turns one of those liquid motion toys over in his fingers.

“There’s not really anything… specific, that’s making me feel worse,” he finds himself mumbling at the ceiling after they get through all of the introductions and shit. “Like, I know my life is good and it’s just my brain being kind of fucked up or… the not having enough serotonin, or whatever.” He thinks that’s chemically what depression is, anyway. He doesn’t really remember. “But I figured… I should try to do something, to try to help myself, you know?” he turns his head to peer blearily at Jonghyun, who nods in understanding. “And this talk therapy didn’t really help much in high school, I don’t think, but it was comforting, I guess.” He turns his gaze back to the colorful oil drips in his toy. “I don’t remember how, but I remember that it was. And this was much easier than trying to start up hiking or something. I don’t know.” He might try different forms of boosting his brain chemicals later, when getting himself out of bed isn’t a regular struggle. “I think just knowing that I’m making this kind of progress will help.”

“I think you’re right,” Jonghyun hums. “It was really brave of you to come forward and try this out. Maybe we’ll remember why it was so comforting before, yeah? And then we can work from there.” He sounds optimistic, but not overbearingly so like Taemin’s old therapist got sometimes, and it makes Taemin feel kind of hopeful. This could work out, yeah. “If you don’t have any specific negativity that you wanna talk about today,” Jonghyun continues, “maybe we can talk about things that make you happy? Or that you’re proud of? A little positivity never hurt anyone.”

“Mmm… yeah, okay,” Taemin says. Jonghyun is right; they can’t just sit and talk about nothing. Where should he start, though? “I like plants,” he says. “And dancing. And my friend Kibum; he drove me over here today because I was having some motivation issues.”

“He supports you?” Jonghyun asks. Taemin nods.

“He gets me out of the house,” he says. “Takes me to parties and out for coffee but doesn’t push me. And I make him stay in sometimes because if I didn’t he’d run himself dry, he’s always doing so much shit. He keeps me company while I sit around and whine and… and I’ve found a negative thought,” he mumbles. That guilt from before is back and as Jonghyun gently presses for more information, he decides that he doesn’t wanna talk about it right now. He wasn’t planning on detailing just how he feels sometimes that he just drags his best friend down and inconveniences him and ruins his plans because he’s such a lazy shit. Maybe next session when he has his thoughts together. For now, he changes topic. “I like plants,” he repeats from earlier. “I had an orange today from my orange tree Kit. Wanna hear about her?”

Jonghyun is happy to hear about Kit, and all of Taemin’s other little garden friends, and when Taemin runs out of things to say about them, he tells Jonghyun about his dancing shit. Jonghyun also gives him some little tips about ways to find motivation that are actually pretty helpful, too. It’s a good session, Taemin thinks; chill and free of pressure. He likes it. He sets up another session with him in two weeks once their time is up, then thanks him and shakes his hand and shuffles back out to the parking lot. He doesn’t feel better, exactly, but there’s a sense of reassurance that comes with the knowledge that he should be able to explain himself fully next session.

When he blearily shields his eyes from the afternoon sunlight of the parking lot, he easily spots Kibum’s blonde hair in his blue prius and shuffles over. He must have finished his errands and came back to wait for him, because Taemin hasn't texted him yet. How nice. He knocks on the window and grins when Kibum jumps and drops his phone into his lap. The door unlocks and he lets himself in, appreciating the fact that his friend has the a/c on and the vent directed just so to have a gentle breeze playing across his face.

“How’d it go?” Kibum asks. Taemin shrugs.

“Therapist was hot as fuck. I told him about my plants, and my dancing, and how you drove me here. It was nice.” He shrugs again. “I have another appointment in two weeks, just in case I need you to drive me again.” He hopes that Kibum taking him to these things doesn’t become a regular occurrence, but it won’t hurt to just let him know. Kibum nods and starts up his car easily.

“Wanna get something for lunch?” he asks. “I was gonna drag you to Jinki’s later, but if you just wanna do one or the other, that’s fine.”

“Lunch sounds nice,” Taemin hums. He likes Jinki, but he thinks doing three social things in one day would be too tiring and he likes the thought of a simple lunch with his close friend more than the get-togethers that Jinki has. He also appreciates that Kibum is giving him the choice. “I’ll buy,” he adds. It’ll be to make up for making Kibum take the time out of his day to do this for him, even though he wanted to. He shifts a little uncomfortably in his seat. Hopefully in his next session he’ll be up to talking about this guiltfest he has going on inside of him or something.

“Can we go to McDonalds?” he asks. Kibum’s been trying to get him away from fast food and onto his hipster healthy diet but he just… really wants chicken nuggets that don’t even taste like real chicken right now. He deserves some unhealthy comfort food today for doing this whole therapy thing anyway. Kibum throws him a raised eyebrow because he probably knows exactly what Taemin was just thinking, but he doesn’t argue.

“Sure,” he says, and Taemin smiles.


End file.
